I LOVED EVERY SECOND OF IT.  It's predictable, and schmaltzy, and all those other things that make movies get bad reviews.  But, I don't care.  

It's based on a true story, which makes it all the better.  There are caring people in this world.  Loving others really can make a difference.  To whom much is given, much is required, and these folks have lived that out. 

I'm going again this week, and I'm quite sure it will make Lisa's 2010 Christmas List.

So, I need to trust God for why the event of this morning happened.  Even if He never tells me why it happened, I still need to trust Him, and look to Him for help and strength and maturity and forgiveness and understanding and all those other good godly character traits and virtues that I don't seem to have any of right now.  At the end of the day, I answer to Him for my behavior alone, and I even need to trust Him with that.

Right now, I don't feel very trusting, or peaceful, or mature about any of this. 

I just feel beaten up.  

Hmmm.  

Maybe there will be more to say in a few days.

and naps.

Had both today.

 

Not a fan of either one of them.

Here's yet another blog on loving the church.   

 

I had a conversation with someone recently about loving the church.  I think we both felt like we're at least trying to love the church, anyway.  

 

But, when I got home, I started thinking about whether or not I really am loving the church.  How does one gage something like that?  What is the evidence? 

 

Yesterday, I had a thought about how to gage whether or not I love the church.  Here's the test I came up with: 

 

Find the person in my church who, in my estimation,  has hurt me, or others the most.  Put their face on "the church."  Then, decide whether or not I am loving the church.   How much am I praying for that person?  How much am I choosing to do more than just politely avoid that person?  How often do I ask God for forgiveness regarding my feelings toward that person?   How willing am I to sacrifice for that person, so that they can experience a blessing?  How often has that person walked away from me feeling loved and encouraged in the Lord?  I don't make enough effort in those areas with people I generally like, let alone those who have been difficult.

 

The Cross sheds light on our hearts.  The pure, perfect, powerful love of Jesus Christ exposes our utter inability to love anyone in our own flesh. 

The cross makes us all look alike:  desperate,  sin sick,  and hopeless without Jesus.  But with Jesus, the cross makes His chosen to look alike in a different way:  as people covered by the blood of Christ, radiant and pure, and acceptable in His sight.  Only He can give us eyes to see the changing power of the Cross.  And, only He can give us eyes to see and hearts to love His people the way Jesus sees His people.  

 

Do I love the church? When I look at that face I have put on the church, I am humbled.  I have so far to go to mature in this area.   But,  I press on in faith, in reading His word, in fellowship and service to His people, in dealing with my sin issues, and trust God that He will give me increasing love as I fix my eyes on HIS face.

 

 

 

We have Sirius radio, and I surf the dial all the time when I'm driving. (by myself that is)  Channel 1 is the pop channel, and the channel, I'm assuming, most kids listen to when they're in the car. 

 

I'm absolutely horrified at some of these lyrics.  HORRIFIED.

 

Britney is singing about threesomes.

Rap groups are singing about oral sex

Rock groups are singing about girlfriends who get wasted, dance with other men, and then go home with their boyfriends and go wild. 

 

What are we letting reach the ears of our kids?  There is so much we can't control in their lives, but there is much we can control.  I want my children to learn about matters of the heart and the beauty of love from those who don't parade our base urges around like much worshiped idols, and who choose NOT to think of other people as people to use and throw away for their own good pleasure.

 

God has things to say about both the purest and the most depraved versions of love and sex.  If we claim Christ as Lord, may we spend time learning and teaching ourselves and our kids His ways regarding this amazing part of the human experience.  If we don't spend  the time ourselves, and the time teaching our kids, they may get their questions answered by people like Britney Spears, Flo-Rida, and Theory of a Deadman.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Ephesians 1:   ³Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, ⁴even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love ⁵ he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, ⁶ to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved. ⁷ In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, ⁸which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight ⁹making known to us the mystery of his will, according to his purpose, which he set forth in Christ ¹⁰as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in him, things in heaven and things on earth.

 ¹¹In him we have obtained an inheritance,  having been predestined according to the purpose of him who works all things according to the counsel of his will, ¹²so that we who were the first to hope in Christ might be to the praise of his glory. ¹³In him you also, when you heard  the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and believed in him, were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit, ¹⁴who is the guarantee of our inheritance until we acquire  possession of it, to the praise of his glory.

Thanksgiving and Prayer

 ¹⁵For this reason, because I have heard of your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love toward all the saints, ¹⁶I do not cease to give thanks for you,remembering you in my prayers, ¹⁷that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give you a spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of him, ¹⁸ having the eyes of your hearts enlightened, that you may know what is the hope to which he has called you, what are the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, ¹⁹and what is the immeasurable greatness of his power toward us who believe, according to the working of his great might ²⁰that he worked in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand  in the heavenly places, ²¹ far above all rule and authority and power and dominion, and above every name that is named, not only in this age but also in the one to come. ²²And he put all things under his feet and gave him as head over all things to the church, ²³which is his body, the fullness of him who fills all in all

 

 

 

 

I just sat and listened to modern worship music for 2 1/2 hours.  

 

I'm trying to figure out why I feel so discouraged.

 

I think part of it is that it's hard to find that sweet spot in the Venn Diagram where the following circles all overlap:

 

Based on biblical truth alone

Understandable language--nothing too antiquated, or too culturally modern

Singable

       no weird time signatures

       normal vocal range spans

      no general clunkiness of melody and lyric

Playability

      nothing requiring a great amount of skill, basically,

                since we're fairly limited there, and we get one practice

      nothing too rhythmic, since we're short a drummer

Well Written--I threw that in there because I'm a writer,

        and I can't stand lazily written worship songs. 

Has a stylistic appeal to the general majority of the

        people we lead in our little midwestern church. 

 

Time to go raid the fridge.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I want to eat. 

 

a lot. 

 

That's how my week in ministry has gone. 

Julie and Julia. 

 

Saw it last night.

 

loved it.

I'm reading Humility, by CJ Mahaney.  Here's a quote:

 

"Begin your day by acknowledging your dependence upon God and your need for God.  Purpose by grace that your first thought of the day will be an expression of your dependence on God, your need for God, and your confidence in God."

Today, when I was in line at the grocery store, I remembered I needed more gum.  The girls dig in my purse daily for gum.  I go through about two packs a week, usually.  As I was standing there, looking for the "Orbit, Maui Melon Mint,"  the thought came to mind that I should buy both of the girls their own gum.  They both carry purses now, fairly regularly. 

 

My girls carry purses. Not the play purses that fill the dress up box, but they carry real purses, filled with birthday and babysitting money, lip gloss, and other purs-ey things.  Sarah has a few nine year old things in it, like a little stuffed animal, or various Hello Kitty items, but her billfold probably has more money in it than mine.

 

And now they will have gum. 

 

I got a little emotional over the gum. 

 

Imagine what kind of scene I will make when we shop for our first prom dress.

We're coming up on the end of June.  That means I must reign in my neediness once again.  Since June is my birthday month, and our anniversary month, my neediness gets to romp and play more freely.  It's my emotional summer time.

 

Well, the truth is probably that I don't really reign in my neediness the other eleven months.  But, I definitely feel more guilty about it. 

 

Either way, summer is almost over.  I think I might be the only person my age who wouldn't mind having another birthday soon!

I went and looked at the new Canon 50D today. 

 

It made me tingly. 

 

Twice the megapixels. 

 

Automatic iso meter.

 

Built in something something processor.  (ok this didn't make me tingly, but it's supposed to enhance every camera feature)

 

 

 

 

This isn't fitting in with the "hunker down" plan we had. 

 

 

softball

 

swimming

 

sleeping in

 

time with each other.

 

more daylight

 

bike riding

 

it's all good.

I don't like it when people are insincere.  I don't like it when people call me their friend, but don't take any interest in my life.  I don't like it when people take an interest in my life, only because they want something from me.   I don't like feeling like I can't say one single thing wrong in conversations with some people, because it will be held against me forever.   I don't like it when I'm with someone, and I feel like that  person is sizing me up and keeping score in a game I don't understand or feel a part of.    I don't like it when people look past me when they're talking to me.  I don't like it when pettiness, jealousy, and self-absorption prevent a person from offering genuine encouragement.  I don't like feeling used.  I don't like feeling tolerated, dismissed, or discounted.   I don't like it when gatekeepers enjoy their power just a little too much. 

 

I REALLY don't like that I've been all of those people at one time or another. 

 

I hate feeling the weight of my social awkwardness.  I hate feeling misunderstood.  I hate it that my shortcomings and sin issues are the most obvious kinds of shortcomings and sin issues.   I am troubled by how easily distracted I am all the time by my physical issues. 

 

But what makes me the maddest this morning, is when I let all that stuff affect me to the point that I can't be creative.

 

That's where I'm living right now, and it's my own fault.  It's a small way to live, and I don't like it.

 

I just read John Mayer's Battle Studies blog page.  He's chronicling (sp?) his entire journey through building his studio and recording his next project.  I am moved by his passion, and by his ability to capture and give voice to his creativity, and the process that goes along with it.

 

It made me really mad; mad at myself, that is. 

 

Here's to creativity, and the God who gives and inspires it.  May I see Him, enjoy His good gifts to me, and rise above the troubles of the day.  May I respond to Him, to people, and to life, in a clear, beautiful, and creative way, rather than being clouded by all that "stuff" in the first three paragraphs.

I've had oral thrush since January.  All of the antibiotics I took from being sick for 2 1/2 months wiped out my balances.  Three doctors, 10 visits, and round after round of medication have done little, except to cause my hair to fall out even more.   At one point, I was rinsing 10 times a day with different things.  Specialists have been called, referrals made, and still, it hangs on.  I wonder if I'm going to have tissue damage from parts of my tongue literally being covered since the winter. 

 

With so much focus being directed toward my mouth, it has gotten me thinking about my mouth and what comes out of it.  Bad things come out of my mouth.  Dumb things, short sighted things, judgmental things, angry things, maybe once in a while, something redeeming.  I seem to have a case of verbal thrush along with my oral thrush.  

 

Being quiet and meditating on scripture might be the two medications I most need right now.   Does Walgreens carry those two things?

 

Felt taken advantage of over the past few days

 

Woke up with a really stinky attitude about the day's responsibilities.

 

Went to the coffee shop to get coffee before the mayhem started.

 

Saw a couple of godly friends who invited me to join them.

 

Had two hours of wonderfully encouraging conversation.

 

Made it through the rest of the day with a grateful heart because of that time with friends.

 

I love it when God does stuff like that.

Saw the new Jennifer Garner/Matthew McCaunoughy (spelling...like I really care...) movie tonight.

 

Movie:  awful.  I can't even remember the name of it. Ghost of Girlfriends Past maybe?   Not funny, terrible script, vulgar, shallow, and I can't believe the GARBAGE that Hollywood peddles to the public.  I just contributed to it tonight by seeing the movie before checking into it, so SHAME ON ME.

 

Matthew M:  so don't get why people think he's all that and a bag of chips.  I will never see another one of his movies again.  The only one that he was good in was A Time To Kill. 

 

Take your nine bucks and buy a used copy of a GOOD romantic comedy.  I would suggest:  Something's Gotta Give, Notting Hill, Two Weeks Notice, Ghost Town,  or You've Got Mail.