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2008/10/29 Cool Things About My Oldest DaughterJenna is interested in politics.
She only lets a few people in to see her heart.
She's very sentimental
She's stubborn, but very quiet about it.
She puts me on the floor laughing when she quotes Brian Regan. (tonight it was about the children's book The Clock)
She really likes science.
She loves loves her dad, and takes great pleasure in teasing him, but in a very dry, subtle way.
She's a loyal friend.
She loves children.
She's nice to her younger sister (most of the time).
She doesn't give hugs very often, but when she does, she means them.
I'm getting glimpses of the grown up Jenna, and I really like her too.
2008/10/25 God is God and I Am NotI saw Steven Curtis Chapman in concert tonight. He opened the show with worship (Smitty was with him). To hear him singing his guts out on Blessed Be Your Name, knowing what he's been through in the last five months, was something I'll never forget. He spoke after the opening worship time about what his family has been through, and then sang God is God.
I believed him. I believed that he believed every word he was singing. It was astonishing. But, in my heart, what moved me the most wasn't his faith.
It was that what he was singing was true. It was the truth about God. It was proof of how God can produce praise on the lips of a man who's life has been devastated by tragedy.
And the truth, spoken from someone so broken and needy, and yet, so in love with God, was a privilege to witness, and an encouragement to my faith. May God bless that man and his family in ways they never could have imagined.
2008/10/23 You're Not Allowed Inside Unless....Bart took the day off today. The girls had the day off from school. We went and bought Halloween costumes, ate lunch together, and spent time laughing. (mostly at Bart's expense)
The girls have been in their costumes for most of the evening. They're having so much fun. It seems that they get along better when they're wearing costumes. I think I'm going to make them wear costumes every day. Bart and I might join the fun:
2008/10/22 The Muse Needs NerdsSo, I had some time on my hands today, and I decided to write.
Here's what came of it: NUH
THING.
Good thing I bought a bag of Halloween candy that had little boxes of grape Nerds in it. 2008/10/21 WAJentary Part 2One reason why I like WAJ is that it forces me to think about stuff.
A commentary on what WAJ forces me to think about when I get home:
1. How I spend my time. If I want to write more, I need to make time for it. This is a good thing to think about, but not always an easy thing to think about.
2. What I need to do to improve. This means thinking about being disciplined, about learning more about theory, reading books, spending more time in God's word, co-writing more, etc. This all ties in with #1 as well.
3. How writing/creativity ties in with my worship responsibilities at church. This year, at WAJ, there were several more classes offered for writing for the church. I'm loving that!!! I want to grow in this area.
4. WAJ gives me permission to dream. Letting that part of me dream while managing the more routine aspects of my life is sometimes a challenge. I have an amazing life, and wouldn't trade any of the routine. It's just nice to have a part of me that's passionate about something that is not so ordinary, and I want to protect that.
Ok. that's all. Maybe there's more, but this dreamer is tired and is going to attempt going to bed at a decent hour! 2008/10/20 WAJentary, Part 1This commentary will be a list of some things I enjoy about Write About Jesus
1. Time with friends. I HAVEN'T LAUGHED LIKE I LAUGHED LAST WEEKEND IN A LONG LONG LONG LONG LONG TIME.
2. Being around other creative people. They're wonderful, quirky, inspiring, challenging, and fun!
3. Learning.
5. Listening
6. Seeing growth in my ability to handle the tougher aspects of being a writer.
7. Watching dear friends see some fruit from their hard work and godly perspective
8. Leaving with a deeper desire to grow as a writer
9. Being pushed into situations which got me out of my comfort zone, and realizing that 1. I won't grow without those times, and 2. I survived.
10. The Filers. Thanks, you guys, for believing in the stuff we're writing together. I am humbled and thankful.
Sidenote: Make a trip through the interneighborhood to this address, and check out Chris Filer's music:
11. Feeling useful. Sue C and I helped with the competition, and we taught a class with Gina. It was nice to feel like I had a part to play. It kept my mind off of some of the stuff that trips me up when I'm there.
12. Getting a new sweatshirt and shirt. They fit. We'll see if they fit for next year's WAJ.
13. Righting the Ship. Over the years, God has used WAJ to help me adjust or stay my course regarding my writing. Most of the time it's through learning new things, meeting new people, getting songs critiqued, and encouragement. Sometimes, WAJ forces me to re-think things because the experience brings up struggles I'm having. Also, WAJ ALWAYS makes me more thankful for the opportunities I've had locally to write with people here, and for our churches. Through the good, and through the struggles, my time at WAJ teaches me more about the direction I should take with my writing.
More tomorrow. 2008/10/15 yay...finally!I leave in the morning for Write About Jesus number 6. The past few weeks have presented their usual challenges leading up to this weekend. I've had to pray a lot about my heart and my attitude. This is the usual drill leading up to it. Lord, help me not compare myself with other people. Lord, help me have a servant's heart. Help me be a blessing to someone. Lord help me let go of the fact that only one of my WAJ t-shirts fit me 'cause I'm so huge. Lord, help me not want to get something from the weekend that will only feed the things that tear my focus from You. Lord, help me just be myself, and enjoy the time, instead of worrying if I will say something to offend someone...and on....and on....and on....
I'm counting on Him answering those prayers somehow. And, He has thrown in an extra blessing. Today, He reminded me of how great the weekend usually is. In the middle of trying to get a grip on my flighty, flaky, flabby, fallen self, I have been reminded of how blessed I always feel walking away from WAJ. Bill and SueS sent me a couple of really funny emails, and I had a couple of great talks with SueC and Gina on the phone. Every interaction reminded me of the good.
It's pretty great to get to hang out with songwriters who love God. We laugh a lot, learn a lot, and encourage one another to press on in our passions and callings. so...yay...finally!!!
I think I might even bring along my purple shoes. 2008/10/13 Feels Like Bungee JumpingI fought my resolution.
I conquered my fear.
I bought purple shoes. 2008/10/08 Matchy MatchyI have a gray and blue dress. Everything in me wants to buy gray or blue boots to go with the dress.
My friend Sue loves What Not To Wear. Apparently the WNTW folks tell their victims that they shouldn't be all matchy matchy. She's told me that they've said things like: "it's ok to mix and match patterns as long as they're in the same color family", and "you shouldn't match your earrings with your necklace. "
This is radical information to process, people.
So, I'm pondering. I'm processing. I'm perhapsing. Today, I thought, well, maybe I'll buy some purple shoes to go with my gray and blue dress. I can do this. It's not that hard. I'm artsy fartsy. I'll get the hang of not matching, eventually. I just need to try it.
The catalog is open.
The shoes are fabulously purple, and they're calling my name.
But, as I looked at them on the page, I started thinking about how if I buy the purple shoes, I'll have to go out and buy more purple things to ma....
It's hopeless.
I'm a matchy matchy girl. The purple shoes will stay in the warehouse, unless I invest in some purple frippery to match my purple flats. My earrings will continue to match my necklace, and even ocassionaly, my bracelets. My head won't hurt because I can't figure out how to get out of my boring box of security and happiness. My closet will remain uncomplicated and uninteresting...
save for the occasional pair of black and white polka dot Converse...
worn only with black and white, of course.
2008/10/07 PermissionI want to write from the place I was in yesterday. Between putting chicken in the oven, and boiling water for pasta, I sat down and pulled itunes up on my computer. For about fifteen minutes, I just listened to music.
I can't describe how I felt in those minutes. I just know I felt. I felt honestly, and simply, and had no need to define why I became so emotional. I didn't feel guilty, either. That time didn't lead me down a dark path of temptation or escape. It felt like it lead me to a safe place...a clarifying place.
These past days have been days of attempting to keep control of myself. Life is really busy. There is much to get done. People need stuff from me. Other people need me to not need stuff from them. I move from one thing to the next, hoping that I can keep it together enough to be a blessing to the people in my life.
There are countless reasons to listen to good music. But yesterday, I was grateful for the permission music gave me to just feel. Life is sweeter after moments like that. The craziness seems more bearable. Life makes more sense to me somehow, even though I don't understand why I need to just have a good cry once in a while.
Powerful stuff, that music. I'm glad it's in my life.
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